Too weird to be fake

Now here’s a headline that I don’t think I could have made up if I tried — ‘Jesus Charged With Bail Jumping, Intimidating Witness’! So much of this article can be so fun when taken out of context, too. All of the following are actual quotes from the article:

• “Jesus bear-hugged his live-in girlfriend and wrestled her to the floor.”
• “Jesus was released on a signature bond and ordered not to harass the woman.”
• “There [the woman] admitted she was ‘extremely afraid’ of Jesus and followed his orders because she feared for her safety and that of her children….”