Strait or Gay?

This is an e-mail that Karl just sent me…

For me, voting in the Republican primary election for my district (Turnagin District 26 in Anchorage), l have to choose between Strait and Gay.

This is ABSOLUTELY TRUE…no kidding!

This is from the State of Alaska, Division of Elections candidate page.

Look at the bottom two entries of the candidate listing where it says:

STATE REPRESENTATIVE DISTRICT 26

GORDON W. HARTLIEB (Libertarian)
3419 Grissom Circle
Anchorage, AK 99517
Phone: (907) 243-8198
e-mail: gordon@systems33.com
Candidate’s web site: http://www.ak.lp.org/hartlieb

ETHAN A. BERKOWITZ (Democrat – Incumbent)
1219 Inlet Place
Anchorage, AK 99501
Phone: (907) 279-5659
e-mail: ethanb@alaska.net
Candidate’s web site: http://www.ethanberkowitz.com

STEVE STRAIT (Republican)
2500 Douglas Drive
Anchorage, AK 99517
Phone: (907) 248-1028
e-mail: steve@stevestrait.com
Candidate’s web site: http://www.stevestrait.com

BECKY GAY (Republican)
PO Box 190428
Anchorage, AK 99519
Phone: (907) 248-5909
e-mail: beckygay@alaska.com
Candidate’s web site: http://www.beckygay.com

These Republicans are running against each other in the primary!

I’m switching to Libertarian GODDAMNIT!

Sounds like a good idea to me…

Parable of the Talents

I’m not sure where or when I picked Parable of the Talents up, but I found it while digging through my book box at one point, and finally got around to reading it. Neat stuff — though apparently it’s the second book in a series (the first being Parable of the Sower), so now I’ll need to go search that book out to get more details on the first part of the story.

PotT is the story of Lauren Olamina, a woman with a mission to spread the word of Earthseed, a religion with the destiny of bringing mankind to the stars in a post-apocalyptic (though not nuclear) near-future America. America has fallen from its status of world protector into nearly third-world status, torn apart by wars with Canada and the newly-seceeded nation of Alaska, and run by a ultra-conservative religous fanatic as President.

Told as a memoir of Olamina’s life though the difficult years of the growth and destruction of her first Earthseed community as written after her death by her estranged daughter, a fascinating portrait of a woman driven to a purpose, no matter what the costs, is painted. Using excerpts from Olamina’s journals to present her side of her cause, and ruminations by her daughter to give an alternate view gives a wonderful portrait of a very intense and controversial woman at a very trying time.

Hopefully there’s more coming…and I’ll definitely need to flesh out the story with the first part sometime soon.

Tongue tied

Grrrrr…at 29 years of age, I really should be able to deal with talking to someone of the opposite sex without getting entirely tongue tied, shouldn’t I?

Bleah.

Okies.

So after I get done watching the movie tonight, as I’m leaving the theater I notice that downtown seems really busy for 9pm at night, even on a Saturday night. I decided to wander down and see what’s going on, and realize that there’s a parade going down the streets of downtown! I was still pretty clueless as to just what was going on, so I asked a security guard who was standing around, and it turns out that it was the opening parade for Seafair, a local summer celebration.

I hang around for a couple minutes to do some people watching, when a girl walking by catches my eye. Probably about 5’8″ or so, brown wavy hair in a ponytail, wearing a very nice black velvet ‘goth’-style dress. She was looking around for a way to get across the street — not likely at that point, as the parade still had a way to go, according to the security guards. We got started talking as she tried to figure out how to get to the bus she was hoping to catch, and ended up chatting for a block or two as I started to head home and she found her way to another bus. Cool cool — nice to actually strike up a conversation with an attractive girl that I see for once!

I get home, shave and change, and head up to meet Rick for drinks up at the Barca Lounge, right next door to the Vogue. As a surprise, he’d gotten ahold of Candice and Chad, and the four of us hung out there for a while, then headed down to the IHOP that’s just a few blocks away for munchies. We get there, sit down, and are sitting there talking, when who should walk in and sit directly across the aisle from us but the girl I’d been talking to earlier!

I saw her sit down, and when the converation lulled at our table for a moment, asked if she’d found her way to where she was going. She hadn’t seen me yet, so this caught her a little off guard, but then she started laughing — apparently she’d been randomly running into people all day long. A little while later after heading to the restroom, I introduced myself to her, and found out that her name is Sabine.

And…here’s where the grumbling comes in. Put me in a DJ booth and I can chat and flirt with anyone who comes by. Get me in the real world, actually trying to talk to someone that I find attractive…and I stumble all over myself. Can’t think of what to say next or how to keep a conversation going, can’t seem to string together three words without stuttering, sentences just trail off into nowhere as I lose my train of thought…argh! No matter what, I always come out of it feeling like a complete idiot.

In any case, I think I survived — Chad, Candice, and Rick all got up to head home for the night, and I hung around to talk with Sabine for another few minutes. That didn’t last too long, however, as she was meeting someone else for coffee, and he (a nice enough seeming guy named Justin) showed up not too long afterwards, so I went ahead and made my exit. On the bright side, she didn’t seem too put off by any of my stumbling, and said that she occasionally hits IHOP in the evenings…with any luck, I may run into her again — and maybe even remember how to construct an entire sentence!

(sigh)

I can hope, right?

Eight Legged Freaks

The Itsy-bitsy spider…

…isn’t so itsy-bitsy, and is more likely to be climbing up a television tower than a water spout.

I just got back from seeing Eight Legged Freaks.

Was it a good movie? Well…honestly, no, it wasn’t.

Was it worth the money? Definitely! Movies like this aren’t supposed to be good movies — they’re supposed to be fun! Which ELF definitely qualifies as. A silly premise, scientific accuracy thrown out the window, sterotypical characters, and cheezy lines, all add up (in my world, at least) to a very enjoyable couple hours at the movies.

It’s not, however, as good as either of the two movies it immediately invites comparison to — Arachnophobia for the creepy-crawly spider jitters, or Tremors for the pesudo-50’s horror movie homage. Arachnophobia had better (though, of course, still questionable) effects, and the more realistically sized spiders in that one were much more freaky for me than the oversized beasties in ELF, and Tremors has a slight edge in the sense of humor — ELF wasn’t bad or humorless, but wasn’t quite as tongue-in-cheek witty as Tremors managed to be.

Still — quite enjoyable, and I had a lot of fun watching it.

…and her head pops off…

I reach down to pull off the condom.

I don’t find it.

I realize that Irene is sitting up.

Indelicately, I reach between her legs and yank out my condom.

And her head pops off and confetti flies out.

It comes from an absolutely brilliant story posted on the Soapbox at WWDN by Rob Matsushita.

The story itself is spread among multiple posts in a fairly long thread — here’s a quick breakdown of all the episodes, in order:

  1. September 27th, 1992
  2. Sometime earlier
  3. Meanwhile, in the present…
  4. Truth or treat
  5. On the couch
  6. The condom
  7. The tape
  8. The big awful
  9. Payday
  10. Lara
  11. Coffee
  12. Halloween
  13. The list
  14. The sign
  15. Epilogue.

Like watching a car crash

Ever driven past a car crash site? You don’t really want to look, but you just can’t help it? Some sort if innate human curiosity about the bizarre and the horrible kicks in.

Reading a log of stories from a video store clerk about her customers who rent porn is kind of like that. Fascinating, scary, and funny all in one…and it completely sucked me in. I just lost about an hour of my morning to this.

We have a new vistor to the porn section. He’s been in twice now. Actually, he’s been in at least three times, as he is a registered member, but he’s only stood out twice.

He comes in, goes down to the straight porn section, and whips out a hand mirror. Then he applies makeup for about an hour.

Seriously.

No browsing, no chatting people up, no whacking. In, mirror, makeup and out. And again, he’s in the straight section.

No one’s sure what to do yet.

Whatever works, I guess.

Church vs. State

Y’know, sometimes — in my more cynical moments — I wonder if this whole argument over seperation of Church and State isn’t a waste of time…flawed in some deeply fundamental way.

I mean, come on — is the belief in politicians who actually work and act to do their best for the people they represent and the country they live in really that much different from the belief in an all-knowing, all-seeing entity who created us and oversees our lives?

Personally, I find it easier to believe in God than to believe that George W. Bush has the best interests of anyone other than himself in mind.

Anyway. Just a random thought.

I was on TV – in Alaska!

My friend Laura just told me that apparently, I was on TV tonight! It seems that Fox 4‘s nightly news was doing a story on teen dance clubs, and used some old footage from Gig’s. We’re guessing it was from the closing night’s TchKung! show, as apparently I had mud smeared across my face — something TchKung! is known for.

Unfortunately, as she didn’t know the story was going to be on, she didn’t get it recorded. I’m thinking about trying to contact Fox 4 to see if I can get a copy of the report, but their website currently has a note saying that “We will unveil a site that will dazzle and amaze in late spring 2001” — somehow, I think they missed that particular deadline. By any chance, would anyone who stops by here have an idea on how to get ahold of the footage? Lemme know!