Only in Seattle would buying clothing involve standing in the middle of the store lobby, having a large bald man stand behind you and wrap his arms around your waist, and then assist you in dropping your trousers to your ankles.
Rick came by my apartment this morning to drop of some checks for a few DVDs that had been bought, and we figured we’d have time to hit breakfast before I had to be at work. Since I’d just gotten a birthday check from Prairie, I suggested a stop on the way to food — and off to Utilikilts we went.
I wasn’t sure if I’d actually be purchasing anything today, as all the kilts are hand-made, and if they don’t have the style/size/color you want on the sales floor, it’s a six to eight week before your custom-ordered kilt will be ready. The guy on the sales floor was quite helpful, though, and luckily enough, they had one of the two styles I had my eye on available in black and in my size.
Not sure if there were dressing rooms or not I started to look around, when he told me to just stand with my back to the front door and undo my belt. He stood behind me with the kilt opened up, then as I undid my fly and let my pants drop, he wrapped the kilt around me. As I worked on the buttons, he noticed that my pants had only dropped about as far as my knees, and proceeded to grab them and give them a quick tug to get them all the way down around my ankles — at which point Rick nearly burst out laughing.
The first kilt was just slightly too short for my legs, so after spending a couple moments waddling around the showroom floor (as I’d not removed my shoes, so my pants were still bunched up around my feet) he brought another kilt out, and with a quick reprise of the switcheroo, we had the second kilt on, which fit perfectly. Quite satisfied at this point, I kicked off my shoes and took my pants off the rest of the way, tossed them in my bag, paid, and we were off to breakfast.
Not fifteen minutes later, as we were walking into the IHOP just off of Broadway, two gentlemen were heading in just before us. “Nice kilt,” said the one holding the door. I grinned, and thanked him. I think I’m going to like this…
After breakfast, Rick ran me down to work. I walked in, and as I walked behind the front counter, I paused for a moment as Valerie and Darcy looked at me. “Okay,” I said. “I think this ought to be acceptable dress code!” They both laughed, and I continued on into the breakroom to find Rob, my manager. Unfortunately, he was on the phone, so I spent a few minutes paging through the employee manual. According to the dress code, “pants, skirt, or dress” are considered acceptable — and as a kilt is in some sense a form of masculine skirt, I’m firmly of the opinion that not allowing me to wear it would be sexual discrimination!
Unfortunately, Rob wasn’t entirely sure of that, and as our regional manager is fairly strict on dress code, it was decreed that I had to put my pants back on for work. Ah, well — it was worth a shot! 
I did change back into the kilt before I left, though, and did get an appreciative honk and wave from a cute blonde in a convertible on my way to the bus stop. Rock on! I definitely think I’m going to like this!
iTunes: “Dead Stars” by Covenant from the album United States of Mind (2001, 5:12).
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Eclectic Utilikilt
Michael Hanscome of Eclecticism was able to buy a Utilikilt off the rack the other day. (Includes a picture)
17 Comments
You should have worn it to the blogger meet at Uptown Espresso - it was a warm night and since the Dems were being loud and had somewhat taken over the place with their voter-registration meetup, we adjourned to the sidewalk on 4th at Wall - you could’ve gotten lots of honks. Looks good. What’s the fabric?
One of these days I would like to hit one of the meetups again — my biggest limitation is that I don’t get off work until 9pm, and don’t make it back into downtown until between 9:30 and 10pm, so I’m never sure if things will still be going on that late or if people will have wandered off. Eventually, though….
According to the Utilikilt catalog, “The Utilikilt™ is a progressive, handmade garment of tough, machine washable fabrics consisting of 100% rip-stop, duck cloth, denims and cotton poly twills.” The style I have is the original, which uses the twill fabric (at least, the color choice is listed as “black twill”). Quite comfortable!
Damn! Now I want one. How would a kilt look on a black guy? I think I have a few drops of Scottish blood in my, thanks to a white great grandfather named McCrary. Being a southerner, my lineage is…well…interesteing.
Remember, if it’s not Scottish it’s crap. To realy impress everyone, you should have worn it in the traditional way, with nothing under it. Have you thought about enhancing it more by getting a traditional sporran and dirk for it?
They are great fun to wear. I’ve worn one for my cousin’s wedding back in Scotland and when I was in a bagpipe band here in Arizona. My whole family is Scottish, with my sister and me being the only two born outisde the UK.
Wudi — Very nice, although I’m still stunned to see that you have whiter appendages than I do…
Either way, Terrance, I think that if you read Steve’s bio on the UK site, you’ll see that UK’s are about comfort and functionality, not gender or heritage. That’s repeated in the Top 100+ customer reasons for wearing a UK:
oh, and the best reason for a single guy to get one:
Please get a UK. Enjoy the freedom of a non-bifurcated lifestyle.
Hey there, Hottie!
Just joking! Don’t flame me!
Great kilt! I am impressed with you boys who will wear them, even more so by those who look good in them.
Elle Noir — (blink) An attractive woman says “Hey there, Hottie,” then follows it up with “Just joking!”?!? (laughs) No respect, no respect, I tell you…
CPS — you’ve just got a couple years head start on me down here in Seattle. You know how long it takes for that Alaskan fish-belly white tan to turn to something a little more presentable!
Terrence — I’d say you should be fine, there’s a black gent who’s a regular at the goth/industrial club I hit on the weekends that I’ve seen wear a UK every so often, and it looks fine on him. I think the guy on the left here and the guy on the right here would agree, too.
Christian — “To realy impress everyone, you should have worn it in the traditional way, with nothing under it.” And who says I wasn’t?
Actually, truth be told, I wasn’t yesterday, simply because I wanted to give myself at least a day or so to get used to how it moves, how to sit down, get in and out of cars, and so on without accidentally flashing anyone. Regimental-style will become the norm soon enough, though! As far as the dirk and sporran, as the UK is more of a “modern” style, I’m not sure how well those would work with it. Should I ever get a more traditional kilt (though I believe my heritage is more Irish than Scottish), it could be quite fun to do the whole shebang, though.
Alicia — thanks!
i swear, i’m the most critical bitch on the face of the planet.
i LOVE the kilt, but it deserves a more appropriate shirt to really make it work. It shows off your calves well though, and the boots are perfect. >:)
I realize, work shirt and all. make sure to take a picture when you wear it to the club, i’m sure the result will be perfect.
hmm, maybe i’ll have to get one for denton for his birthday…
(laughs) I swear, some people are just never satisifed!
Okay, so the work shirt wouldn’t be my first choice for general wear, either, but it was all I had at that point. I’ll be sure to get some more “appropriate” pics up as soon as I have them.
I think Denton would get a kick out of a UK, myself. Do it!
Wudi, you started off with whiter legs than me. I see your hairless body so rarely now since Gig’s closed and I moved out that I just forget that you are a pale white boy, even compared to me!
Christian — The sporran and dirk are really useful for traditional garb that has no pockets, but the UK is for everyday wear, where the pockets don’t have to shed and the dirk can be replaced by something more useful like a leatherman…. as for being regimental, well, that’s a question better unanswered by Wudi….
Bastard
- you’re not as cool as I am, though, get some combat boots to go with it, and a KMFDM shirt, and we’ll talk. Of course, when I mentioned MY utilikilts, you didn’t even tell me you were contemplating getting one 
kirsten/michael: I think those are shoes and long socks, no?
Looks like a good piece of work right there.
Robert — at the moment, yeah, that’s it exactly. Boots would definitely be preferred, though.
Jonas — give it time, give it time.
Of course, I’ve got the KMFDM shirt already, so that much is taken care of, all I need now is a new pair of Docs. Then my plan will be complete:
3 = Start band named ‘My Life With the Thrill Kill Utilikilt’
Well executed, Grasshopper. The student has finally beat his master. You know, of course, that there’s no way you’ll be able to dance to DM in a kilt, right?</hide>
On a different note, next time I am in Seattle, I’ll bring my UKBlack and we’ll do the Vogue as mad skirted men
cps — That’s cool, take something good and make it better.