Dr. Hanscom’s Health Clinic
Humor, Links 10/04/2004 |Very interesting report from some researchers in the UK claiming that massaging breasts helps avoid breast cancer.
A gentle rub boosts the flow of vital toxins, compensating for the restricting effect of bras.
The New York-based Natural Health and Longevity Resource Centre looked at 4,700 women. The highest rate of breast cancer was in those who wore bras all day and night. The lowest was in those who never wore bras. Researchers say women should wear their bra for less than 12 hours a day. Gentle kneading, rubbing and squeezing with the hands increases blood flow to the breasts, says top therapist Beverly Smith.
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p>I figure it’s the least I can do to offer my services!
Just e-mail me to set up an appointment. 
(And on a not-unrelated side note, this year’s Boobiethon is in progress, with all proceeds being donated to support breast cancer research. A good cause, and fun to look at, too — how can you go wrong?)
“Fix” by Sisters of Mercy, The from the album Some Girls Wander By Mistake (1983, 3:43).
[See also: Go Dub-yuh! | Not exactly unexpected | Living in a Theocracy | That’s no pastie! | Bouncing and flirting ]
4 Responses to “Dr. Hanscom’s Health Clinic”
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Bryan
Michael Hanscom
Prairie
Ryan Waddell
October 5th, 2004 at 5:23 am
I knew it, boob rubs help breast cancer
Ha! Science has finally confirmed what I knew all along. Boob rubs have definite medical benefits. Boob rubs save lives. We just gave out the nobel peace prize to some cats who explained the strong nuclear force? Fsck the strong
October 5th, 2004 at 10:57 pm
Are “toxins” real? I thought I heard once that all of this prattle about toxins was not based on medical fact.
You completely missed the medical admonition to go braless.
The one bizarre thing about Boobie-Thon is their “pay” site; it’s very odd to support cancer research with something that sounds like a pornographer’s tactic. Maybe it’s just me…
October 6th, 2004 at 2:29 am
The Mammaries, contain lots of Fatty Tissue and has poor circulation. It makes sense that a good vigorous rub would get the blood flowing and remove Damaging Compounds like Lactic Acid and Ethanol.
Meanwhile, a Blokes Prostate would also benefit from a fondle every now and then. Does anyone know if there is a lower incidence of Prostate Cancer in Gay Men?
October 8th, 2004 at 9:34 am
Just when I was about to give up on science, they start doing real research. Why was I not informed of this project?! I certainly would have volunteered.
It reminds me of an ad a couple years ago (I believe it was in Canada). They had some guy in his 20s offering his services to give breast exams. Other guys show up at the end, and they all look somewhat desperate. It was really funny, and a good way to spread awareness.