Countries that forbid gays in their military: Cuba, China, Egypt, Greece, Iran, Jamaica, North Korea, Pakistan, Russia, Saudi Arabia, Serbia, Singapore, South Korea, Syria, Turkey, Venezuela, Yemen, the USA.

Countries that allow gays to serve in their military: Argentina, Australia, Austria, Belgium, Bermuda, Brazil, Canada, Czech Republic, Denmark, Estonia, Finland, France, Germany, Ireland, Israel, Italy, Lithuania, Luxembourg, Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, Peru, the Philippines, Romania, Slovenia, South Africa, Spain, Sweden, Switzerland, the UK, Uruguay.

Which list would you rather be associated with?

— Fnarf, in a comment on the Slog

• Why Are You So Terribly Disappointing?: "Big f—ing deal. We just do not care. It's all a big disappointment. Hey, I was expecting to be blown away. I was expecting miracles and transformations and multiple twitching orgasms on sight. Do not come at me with tantalizing promises only to reveal that you can fulfill most of them to a fairly good degree, and not far exceed all of them in every imaginable way. We're Americans, goddammit. Ye shall know us by the tang of our bitter and untenable jadedness."
• Many Successful Gay Marriages Share an Open Secret: "A study to be released next month is offering a rare glimpse inside gay relationships and reveals that monogamy is not a central feature for many. Some gay men and lesbians argue that, as a result, they have stronger, longer-lasting and more honest relationships. And while that may sound counterintuitive, some experts say boundary-challenging gay relationships represent an evolution in marriage — one that might point the way for the survival of the institution."
• Mathematician Uses SETI Formula to Determine He Has a 0.00034% Chance of Getting Laid: "Backus has modeled his search for a human being on a planet coated with human beings by using an equation designed to locate communicative civilizations in the vast reaches of our galaxy. What does that mean? He's assuming that 'women I can have sex with' and 'communicative aliens' are roughly comparable values. If you consider the rest of the Drake Equation, that would make most women into the equivalent of dead planets, empty space, and alien life without intelligence. A tiny percentage of those women might not be dead or empty. An even tinier percentage could communicate intelligently, but possibly not during his lifetime."
• Football Games Have 11 Minutes of Action: "According to a Wall Street Journal study of four recent broadcasts, and similar estimates by researchers, the average amount of time the ball is in play on the field during an NFL game is about 11 minutes. So what do the networks do with the other 174 minutes in a typical broadcast? Not surprisingly, commercials take up about an hour. As many as 75 minutes, or about 60% of the total air time, excluding commercials, is spent on shots of players huddling, standing at the line of scrimmage or just generally milling about between snaps." And people wonder why I have absolutely no interest in football. Yikes.
• El Nino Helping Green River Valley Avoid Floods: "Cliff Mass, professor of atmospheric science at the University of Washington, said the current mild weather could lead to Seattle's warmest January on record. And in this region, he said, 'Once you get past the 20th of February, one month from now, I mean, winter's over.' For those living and working below the dam, 'I think they're home free at this point,' he said."

No, I’m not going to be lining up to be one of the first to get an iPad, for two primary reasons: one, experience has taught me that sometimes, it’s best to wait for the second generation of a new Apple device; two, I have a perfectly functional laptop (even if it is heavy, clunky, and Windows based). However, once that laptop goes away, I’ll likely be snapping up whatever the current generation of the iPad is at that point.

These concerns, originally posted on Facebook, about the iPad’s physical feature set…

bah…it’s not that impressive. With no ports, USB, HDMI, or a kick-stand; it’s just a gigantic iPod touch with an AT&T option.

I’ll wait for the next version. 1/2 the thickness, 1/3 more of everything, delivered by unicorns and doubles as a USB3 hub with a port every 2 mm around the shell.

…prompted the following response (though I’ll admit I would love to have my tech goodies delivered by unicorns).

See, for me, it looks to be about the perfect on-the-go machine.

For my main machine, I’ve always preferred a desktop. Laptops make acceptable secondary machines, but for me, they’ve always been overkill: too big, too heavy, too bulky and awkward, especially as their main purpose (for me) is simply to supplement my “real” computer. I’ve never needed a laptop that would do everything.

Up ‘til now, netbooks have looked promising, but are only (officially) Windows-based (and I’m at a point where I’m less interested in jumping through the hoops to make a Hackintosh); Apple’s MacBook Air looked promising, but is too expensive; for carrying around and having access to information, my iPod Touch is nearly perfect, but is still more of an information viewer than something I can do things with. If I want to quickly check in with the world, look something up, or glance over notes for school, the iPod’s great, if I want to do much of anything more intensive than that, I have to lug around a big, clunky laptop.

The iPad looks to sit right in the sweet spot. A very focused device, doesn’t have a lot of unnecessary crap bulking it up, small and light enough that I’d be comfortable carrying it around in my bag, and with the combination of compatibility with existing iPhone apps and the new iPad versions of the iWork suite (I use the desktop version of iWork for all my work at home), I’d be able to take notes, work on schoolwork, and do everything I’d want to do while out and about.

Ports and a kickstand? The kickstand would likely be aesthetically questionable (especially from Jobs’ viewpoint), and take away a certain amount of space o the case that currently is being used for, oh, the guts of the thing. Obviously, as they’re introducing two docks and a case designed to support the iPad at introduction, they’re aware of the want and need to be able to prop it up, but (unsurprisingly for Apple), weren’t willing to sacrifice on the pretty. Besides, a flip-out/snap-in kickstand would be a potential point of physical failure.

Ports: really, how often do you use the ports on a mobile machine? And which ones? I’d bet the majority of laptops only ever use the USB port and/or the video-out port when connecting to projectors, both of which are accounted for in some way on the iPad. The rest just serve as receptors for things you could do, and might do, but don’t do, and hey, there’s a way for dirt, dust, grit, and liquid to get into your computer.

USB: I honestly don’t know what I’d want a dedicated USB port for. USB key for transferring documents? The iPad syncs with your computer and syncs its document folder that way, or use Dropbox and stop worrying about carrying around USB keys at all (my personal choice, Dropbox is incredibly handy). Keyboard input? Either use Apple’s keyboard stand, which also supports the iPad in a monitor-style configuration, or use any Bluetooth wireless keyboard with the iPad. Camera connection? I’m not going to be using the iPad for photo work, but for those who are, yeah, you’re going to have to spring for Apple’s dock connector-to-USB dongle, sorry…but adding a standard USB port would have made the iPad thicker than it is.

Video out/HDMI: It’s already been confirmed that the iPad will support 720p videos from iTunes, and that there will be video out (for projectors) through the dock connector. I’d assume that eventually, there will be an iPad-to-HDMI option. Once again, building in an HDMI port would have made the iPad thicker than it is.

If I didn’t already have a perfectly-functional-even-if-I-don’t-like-it-all-that-much Windows based laptop, I’d be preordering an iPad the first day they’re in the Apple Store. As it is, I’ll likely be grabbing whatever the current version is the day our laptop dies.

After a few days of back-and-forth and trying to narrow things down, here’s what I’ve come up with.

For some reason, though Excel:mac²⁰⁰⁸ (hey, that’s how the ‘About’ screen writes the product name, don’t blame me) uses the new XML-based file structure, when saving files, it uses the old standard .xls file extension. Oddly, at least on my machine, it is behaving like this even though Preferences… > Compatibility > Transition > Save files in this format: is set to “Excel Workbook (.xlsx)”.

(And as an aside, why must there be an open workbook to access Excel’s preferences dialog box?)

Current versions of Excel on the Windows side of the fence, however, use (and expect) the .xlsx extension. Same file types, but different extensions, and this causes confusion. When Excel (Windows) sees the .xls extension, it expects a different type of data than it does when opening a document with the .xlsx extension, and it chokes when attempting to open the file.

The solution? Manually change the extension to .xlsx before e-mailing the file.

Sigh.

• Here comes the new cell phone etiquette: "It's easy to be rude with a cell phone. A visitor from another planet might conclude that rudeness is a cell phone's main purpose. Random, annoying ring tones go off unexpectedly. People talk too loudly on cell phones in public because of the challenge of holding a conversation in a noisy environment with someone who's not present. Cell phones need their own rules of etiquette, or we'll descend into social barbarism. But cell phones — and the ways we use them — change. In the past three years, the whole world of cell phones has evolved so much that we need some additional rules of etiquette."
• Menifee school officials remove dictionary over term ‘oral sex’: "After a parent complained about an elementary school student stumbling across 'oral sex' in a classroom dictionary, Menifee Union School District officials decided to pull Merriam Webster's 10th edition from all school shelves earlier this week. School officials will review the dictionary to decide if it should be permanently banned because of the 'sexually graphic' entry, said district spokeswoman Betti Cadmus. 'It's just not age appropriate,' said Cadmus, adding that this is the first time a book has been removed from classrooms throughout the district. 'It's hard to sit and read the dictionary, but we'll be looking to find other things of a graphic nature,' Cadmus said." Ugh. See also: the followup article, in which a committee will determine the curriculum applicability and educational appropriateness of the dictionary.
• The Cost of Care: "The United States spends more on medical care per person than any country, yet life expectancy is shorter than in most other developed nations and many developing ones. Lack of health insurance is a factor in life span and contributes to an estimated 45,000 deaths a year. Why the high cost? The U.S. has a fee-for-service system—paying medical providers piecemeal for appointments, surgery, and the like. That can lead to unneeded treatment that doesn't reliably improve a patient's health. Says Gerard Anderson, a professor at Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health who studies health insurance worldwide, 'More care does not necessarily mean better care.'"
• The Science & the Fiction: "It is impossible to determine just how much science misinformation audiences retain, but it’s safe to say the minuscule amount of good science in the movies is entirely outgunned. After combing through a vast library of science fiction flicks both sublime and ridiculous, your intrepid Bad Astronomer sat down to explain the best and worst of movie science. So grab some popcorn, relax, and be glad that when the lights go back up, the real universe will still be out there for us to enjoy."
• 500 Internal Server Error: 500 Internal Server Error
• Christopher Hitchens on "Like": "The actual grammatical battle was probably lost as far back as 1954, when Winston announced that its latest smoke 'tasted good, like a cigarette should.' Complaints from sticklers that this should have been 'as a cigarette should' (or, in my view, 'as a cigarette ought to do') were met by a second ad in which a gray-bunned schoolmarm type was taunted by cheery consumers asking, 'What do you want, good grammar or good taste?' "

• H. G. Wells on ‘Metropolis’ (1927): "Never for a moment does one believe any of this foolish story; for a moment is there anything amusing or convincing in its dreary series of strained events. It is immensely and strangely dull. It is not even to be laughed at. There is not one good-looking nor sympathetic nor funny personality in the cast; there is, indeed, no scope at all for looking well or acting like a rational creature amid these mindless, imitative absurdities. The film's air of having something grave and wonderful to say is transparent pretence. It has nothing to do with any social or moral issue before the world or with any that can ever conceivably arise. It is bunkum and poor and thin even as bunkum. I am astonished at the toleration shown it by quite a number of film critics on both sides of the Atlantic. And it costs, says the London Times, six million marks! How they spent all that upon it I cannot imagine. Most of the effects could have been got with models at no great expense."
• Offline Book "Lending" Costs U.S. Publishers Nearly $1 Trillion: From what we've been able to piece together, the book "lending" takes place in "libraries". On entering one of these dens, patrons may view a dazzling array of books, periodicals, even CDs and DVDs, all available to anyone willing to disclose valuable personal information in exchange for a "card". But there is an ominous silence pervading these ersatz sanctuaries, enforced by the stern demeanor of staff and the glares of other patrons. Although there's no admission charge and it doesn't cost anything to borrow a book, there's always the threat of an onerous overdue bill for the hapless borrower who forgets to continue the cycle of not paying for copyrighted material.
• AirTran 297 - Anatomy of an Urban Legend: Since the flight and initial media reports, several blogs and Internet sites have recounted the incident as portrayed by a passenger originally scheduled for the flight. Below is that passenger’s account (unedited in any way including spelling and grammar), as reported on several blogs. Highlighted between the passenger’s account, are the factually accurate circumstances surrounding this incident. We bring this to your attention in order to dispel myths that are beginning to make the rounds in chat rooms, blogs and conspiracy theorists’ Web sites.
• Dear God, please confirm what I already believe: God may have created man in his image, but it seems we return the favour. Believers subconsciously endow God with their own beliefs on controversial issues. "People may use religious agents as a moral compass, forming impressions and making decisions based on what they presume God as the ultimate moral authority would believe or want," the team write. "The central feature of a compass, however, is that it points north no matter what direction a person is facing. This research suggests that, unlike an actual compass, inferences about God's beliefs may instead point people further in whatever direction they are already facing."
• Insanely Vulgar ‘Better Off Ted’ Outtakes (NSFW Video): "ABC's 'Better Off Ted' recently had an episode where a mistyped inter-office memo encouraged employees to swear insults at each other, with PG-rated results for broadcast. Below are the ridiculously NSFW outtakes, scripted for Web-only release. If you are offended — not even 'easily' … but, like, even slightly, by graphic language, do not watch this video, which is like melding the Disney-owned TV network with 'The Aristocrats.' According to a network spokesperson, ABC did not post this."

(Note: Though this list is numbered 1-100, it should be read as being 100-1. That is, the #100 spot on this list is the #1 spot on the original list. Just a side effect of the HTML list that I don’t feel like trying to hack around.)

1. The Word For World Is Forest by Ursula K. LeGuin
2. Sorcerer’s Son by Phyllis Eisenstein
3. Beggars in Spain by Nancy Kress
4. The Three Stigmata of Palmer Eldritch
5. Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson
6. Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell by Susanna Clarke
7. The Company by K.J. Parker
8. An Evil Guest by Gene Wolfe
9. Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton
10. Danny, The Champion of the World by Roald Dahl
11. Camp Concentration by Thomas Disch
12. Swordspoint by Ellen Kushner
13. Song of Kali by Dan Simmons
14. Speaker for the Dead by Orson Scott Card
15. A Canticle for Leibowitz by Walter Miller
16. Sphere by Michael Crichton
17. Fevre Dream by George R.R. Martin
18. The Alteration by Kingsley Amis
19. The Dragonriders of Pern by Anne McCaffrey
20. The Anubis Gates by Tim Powers
21. Watership Down by Richard Adams
22. Griffin’s Egg by Michael Swanwick
23. Altered Carbon by Richard K. Morgan
24. Free Live Free by Gene Wolfe
25. Rendezvous with Rama by Arthur C. Clarke
26. Ringworld by Larry Niven
27. Schismatrix by Bruce Sterling
28. Old Man’s War by John Scalzi
29. Maske: Thaery by Jack Vance
30. The Mists of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley
31. The Martian Chronicles by Ray Bradbury
32. Flow My Tears The Policeman Said by Philip K. Dick
33. The Gods Themselves by Isaac Asimov
34. The Diamond Age by Neal Stephenson
35. The High Crusade by Poul Anderson
36. A Song for Lya by George R.R. Martin
37. At the Mountains of Madness by H.P. Lovecraft
38. Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes
39. Wildlife by James Patrick Kelly
40. The Book of Knights by Yves Maynard
41. The Wheel of Time by Robert Jordan (Well, I made it up to book six or seven, then decided to wait until he was dead or the series was finished, since there was no end in sight. Now he’s dead, and I’m just waiting for the last book to appear in paperback before starting over.)
42. Forever Peace by Joe Haldeman
43. Nightwings by Robert Silverberg
44. The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien
45. Cat’s Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut
46. Gravity’s Rainbow by Thomas Pynchon
47. The Book of the Short Sun by Gene Wolfe
48. The Forever War by Joe Haldeman
49. Foundation by Isaac Asimov
50. The Wizard of Earthsea by Ursula K. LeGuin
51. The Wizard Knight by Gene Wolfe
52. The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand
53. The Demon Princes by Jack Vance
54. Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card
55. The Baroque Cycle by Neal Stephenson
56. Alastor by Jack Vance
57. The War of the Worlds by H.G. Wells
58. Flatland by Edwin Abbott
59. Farmer in the Sky by Robert Heinlein
60. A Scanner Darkly by Philip K. Dick
61. Animal Farm by George Orwell
62. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams
63. Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
64. Lyonesse by Jack Vance
65. Starship Troopers by Robert Heinlein
66. True Names by Vernor Vinge
67. Ubik by Philip K. Dick
68. The Hyperion Cantos by Dan Simmons
69. Citizen of the Galaxy by Robert Heinlein
70. A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle
71. A Fire Upon The Deep by Vernor Vinge
72. Pale Fire by Vladimir Nabokov
73. More Than Human by Theodore Sturgeon
74. Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury
75. 1984 by George Orwell
76. I Am Legend by Richard Matheson
77. The Cadwal Chronicles by Jack Vance
78. Lost Horizon by James Hilton
79. Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll
80. The Wonderful Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum
81. The Fifth Head of Cerebus by Gene Wolfe
82. A Song of Ice And Fire by George R.R. Martin
83. Stranger in a Strange Land by Robert Heinlein
84. The Fionavar Tapestry by Guy Gavriel Kay
85. The Master and the Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov
86. The Man in the High Castle by Philip K. Dick
87. All My Sins Remembered by Joe Haldeman
88. The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien
89. Planet of Adventure by Jack Vance
90. Dune by Frank Herbert
91. A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess
92. The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula K. LeGuin
93. The Book of the New Sun by Gene Wolfe
94. Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
95. Frankenstein by Mary Shelley
96. Tigana by Guy Gavriel Kay
97. The Dispossessed by Ursula K. LeGuin
98. The Dying Earth by Jack Vance
99. The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress by Robert Heinlein
100. The Book of the Long Sun by Gene Wolfe

• 500 Internal Server Error: 500 Internal Server Error
• U.S. Supreme Court to Rule on Petition-Signers’ Rights: "The Supreme Court on Friday added five new cases to its decision docket, including a significant test case on a plea for confidentiality for the identities of voters who sign petitions to get policy measures on election ballots. The Court expedited the briefing of all five cases, thus giving the Justices the option of scheduling all of them for oral argument in the April sitting. There is no commitment to April arguments at this time, however."
• Dispersion of Sound Waves in Ice Sheets: "The most striking thing about these recordings is the synthetic-sounding descending tones caused by the phenomenon of the dispersion of sound waves. The high frequencies of the popping and cracking noises are transmitted faster by the ice than the deeper frequencies, which reach the listener with a time lag as glissandi sinking to almost bottomless depths."
• Here’s to Planet Earth! Doomsday Clock Moved Back 1 Minute: "The Doomsday clock, a measurement of the threat posed by nuclear weapons, biotechnology, and climate change, has been moved back one minute, to six minutes before midnight, signaling a more 'hopeful state of world affairs.'"
• Pat Robertson Cites Haiti’s Earthquake as What Happens When You ‘Swear a Pact to the Devil’: "Today on his 700 Club television show, Christian broadcaster Pat Robertson highlighted the tragedy and said that his network will be there 'to help the people.' However, he then tried to offer an explanation for the earthquake, blaming Haiti's own people for once making a 'pact to the devil'"

Dear Pat Robertson,

I know that you know that all press is good press, so I appreciate the shout-out. And you make God look like a big mean bully who kicks people when they are down, so I’m all over that action. But when you say that Haiti has made a pact with me, it is totally humiliating. I may be evil incarnate, but I’m no welcher.

The way you put it, making a deal with me leaves folks desperate and impoverished. Sure, in the afterlife, but when I strike bargains with people, they first get something here on earth — glamour, beauty, talent, wealth, fame, glory, a golden fiddle. Those Haitians have nothing, and I mean nothing. And that was before the earthquake. Haven’t you seen “Crossroads”? Or “Damn Yankees”? If I had a thing going with Haiti, there’d be lots of banks, skyscrapers, SUVs, exclusive night clubs, Botox — that kind of thing. An 80 percent poverty rate is so not my style. Nothing against it — I’m just saying: Not how I roll.

You’re doing great work, Pat, and I don’t want to clip your wings — just, come on, you’re making me look bad. And not the good kind of bad. Keep blaming God. That’s working. But leave me out of it, please. Or we may need to renegotiate your own contract.

Best,

Satan

Written by Lily Coyle of Minneapolis, first printed as a Letter to the Editor in the Star Tribune.

What’s behind the curtain, you ask?

Giveaway includes these books: Romance of Da Vinci, 1928. Pocket Book of Verse, 1940. Robison Crusoe, 1930s…….

…….G. Eliot: Poems, 1909. The Moonstone, 1930s. Crime and Punishment, 1953. Works of Dickens, 1940s.

Pretty slick!