**Note:** This is another of the very few random e-mails I received that did not get immediately nuked...and I think not only is worth sharing, but should be the default new message in every freshly installed e-mail client across the internet. Consider this my version of 'required reading.'

####Things to remember while e-mailing:####

1. Big companies don't do business [via chain letters][1.1]. Bill Gates is not giving you [$1000][1.2], and Disney is not giving you a [free vacation][1.3]. There is no baby food company issuing [class-action checks][1.4]. Proctor and Gamble is not part of a [satanic cult or scheme][1.5], and its logo is not satanic.
MTV will not give you backstage passes if you forward something to the most people. The Gap is not giving away [free clothes][1.6]. You can relax, there is no need to pass it on "just in case it's true." There is no such thing as 'tracking software' that can tell how many people you sent something to.

[1.1]: http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/nothing/billgate.htm "Urban Legends Reference Pages: Thousand Dollar Bill"
[1.2]: http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/nothing/billgate.htm#billgate "ULRP: TDB: Cash from Microsoft"
[1.3]: http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/nothing/billgate.htm#disney "ULRP: TDB: Free trip for two to Walt Disney World or $5000 cash from Disney"
[1.4]: http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/hoaxes/babyform.htm "ULRP: Baby Formula Hoax"
[1.5]: http://www.snopes.com/business/alliance/procter.htm "ULRP: Trademark of the Devil"
[1.6]: http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/nothing/billgate.htm#gap "ULRP: TDB: Free clothing from the Gap"

2. There is no kidney theft ring in New Orleans. No one is [waking up in a bathtub full of ice][2.1], even if a friend of a friend swears it happened to their cousin. If you are hell-bent on believing the kidney-theft-ring stories, see [this page][2.2]. I quote: 

   > The National Kidney Foundation has repeatedly issued requests for actual victims of organ thieves to come forward and tell their stories.

   None have. That's 'none' as in 'zero.' Not even your friend's cousin.

[2.1]: http://www.snopes.com/horrors/robbery/kidney.htm "ULRP: You've got to be kidneying"
[2.2]: http://www.urbanlegends.com/medical/organ.theft/new_orleans_debunk.html "Medical/Organ Theft/New Orleans debunk"

3. Neiman Marcus doesn't really sell a [$200 cookie recipe][3.1]. And even if they do, we all have it. And even if you don't, you can get a copy at [this page][3.2]. Then, if you make the recipe and decide that the cookies are that awesome, feel free to pass the recipe on.

[3.1]: http://www.snopes.com/business/consumer/cookie.htm "(Costs a) Fortune Cookie"
[3.2]: http://www.bl.net/forwards/cookie.html "BL Net: The Neiman-Marcus Cookie Story"

4. If the latest NASA rocket disaster(s) _did_ contain plutonium that went to particulate over the eastern seaboard, do you _really_ think that this information would reach the public via an AOL chain letter?

5. There is no ["Good Times" virus][5.1]. In fact, you should never, ever, ever forward any email containing any virus warning unless you first confirm it with an actual site of an actual company that actually deals with viruses. Try [Norton][5.2]. And even then, don't forward it. We don't care. And you cannot get a virus from a flashing IM or email, you have to download it...you know, like, _a file_!

   (Sadly, this last sentence has become false in the past few years, as vulnerabilities in IM programs and some e-mail clients [usually Microsoft Outlook] have introduced new problems. However, in the majority of circumstances, this is still correct.)

[5.1]: http://www.hr.doe.gov/goodtime.html "Good Times Virus Hoax FAQ"
[5.2]: http://www.norton.com "Norton"

6. There is no gang initiation plot to murder any motorist who [flashes their headlights][6.1] at another car driving at night without lights.

[6.1]: http://www.snopes.com/horrors/madmen/lightout.htm "ULRP: Lights out!"

7. If you're using Outlook, <acronym title="Internet Explorer">IE</acronym>, or Netscape to write e-mail, _turn off_ the '<acronym title="HyperText Markup Language">HTML</acronym> encoding.' Those of us on UNIX shells can't read it, and don't care enough to save the attachment and then view it with a browser since you're probably forwarding us another copy of the Neiman Marcus Cookie Recipe anyway.

8. If you still absolutely _must_ forward that 10<sup>th</sup>-generation message from a friend, at least have the decency to trim the eight miles of headers showing everyone else who's received it over the last 6 months. It sure wouldn't hurt to get rid of all the "&gt;" that begin each line either. Besides, if it has gone around that many times we've probably already seen it.

9. Craig Shergold (or Sherwood, or Sherman, etc.) in England is not dying of cancer at anything else at this time and would like everyone to stop [sending him their business cards][9.1]. He apparently is no longer a 'little boy' either.

[9.1]: http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/children/shergold.htm "ULRP: Craig Shergold"

10. The ["Make A Wish" foundation][10.1] is a real organization doing fine work, but they have had to establish a special toll free hot line in response to the large number of Internet hoaxes using their good name and reputation. It is distracting them from the important work they do.

[10.1]: http://www.wish.org/home/frame_chainletters.htm "Make-A-Wish Foundation: Chain Letters"

11. If you are one of those insufferable idots who forwards anything that 'promises' something bad will happen if you 'don't' -- then something bad _will_ happen to you if I ever meet you in a dark alley.

12. Women really are [suffering in Afghanistan][12.1], but forwarding an email won't help their cause in the least. If you want to help, contact your local legislative representative, or get in touch with [Amnesty International][12.2] or the [Red Cross][12.3].

[12.1]: http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/petition/afghani.htm "ULRP: Afghani get your gun"
[12.2]: http://www.amnesty.org/ "Amnesty International - working to protect human rights worldwide"
[12.3]: http://www.redcross.org/ "American Red Cross"

13. As a general rule, e-mail signatures are easily faked and mean nothing to anyone with any power to do anything about whatever the competition is complaining about.

14. KFC [really does use real chickens][14.1] with feathers and beaks and feet. No, they really do. Why did they change their name? In this health conscious world, what was KFC's name? Kentucky _Fried_ Chicken. 'Fried' is not healthy. So with the help of a focus group, they changed the name to KFC. It's short, doesn't offend dieters and it's easy to remember.

[14.1]: http://www.snopes.com/horrors/food/kfc.htm "ULRP: Tastes like chicken"

15. Another thing, just because someone said in a message, four generations back, that "we checked it out and it's legit," does not actually make it true.

   PS: There is no bill pending before Congress that will allow long distance companies to [charge you for using the Internet][15.1].

[15.1]: http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/pending/internet.htm "ULRP: A long pay from home"

16. No women have ever died after having [kinky sex with a lobster][16.1], or been caught with a crotch full of peanut butter [calling their dog][16.2] at a surprise party. I know someone you used to work with swears he was there, but come on....

[16.1]: http://www.snopes.com/sex/juvenile/lobster.htm "ULRP: Lobster love"
[16.2]: http://www.snopes.com/sex/bestial/peanutbt.htm "ULRP: The lap dog"

17. There never was a [charred scuba diver][17.1] found in a forest fire, Neil Armstrong never said "Good luck [Mr. Gorsky][17.2]", no one has ever sent the Smithsonian a Barbie claiming it to be an '[archeological find][17.3]', and no one has ever [crashed a jet powered car][17.4] or an old car with a stolen jet engine strapped to it to the side of a cliff (except maybe Wiley E. Coyote).

[17.1]: http://www.snopes.com/horrors/freakish/scuba.htm "ULRP: Corpus Crispy"
[17.2]: http://www.snopes.com/quotes/mrgorsky.htm "ULRP: Good luck, Mr. Gorsky!"
[17.3]: http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/smithson.htm "ULRP: Smithsonian Barbie"
[17.4]: http://www.snopes.com/autos/dream/jato.htm "ULRP: Carmageddon"

18. There are no [cockroach eggs][18.1] in Taco Bell's food or [rat urine][18.2] in the tops of Coke cans, and no one has ever gotten AIDS from a [needle in a ball pit][18.3] at McDonalds or the [coin slot of a pay phone][18.4].

[18.1]: http://www.snopes.com/horrors/food/tacobell.htm "ULRP: La Cucaracha"
[18.2]: http://www.snopes.com/toxins/raturine.htm "ULRP: Rat urine"
[18.3]: http://www.snopes.com/horrors/parental/archer.htm "ULRP: Needlepointless tragedy"
[18.4]: http://www.snopes.com/horrors/mayhem/payphone.htm "ULRP: Slots of fun"

Bottom line -- composing email or posting something on the 'net is as easy as writing on the walls of a public restroom. Don't automatically believe it until it's proven false, rather, _assume it's false_ unless there is proof that it's true. You can de-bunk 90% of the garbage you receive by going to the [Urban Legends Reference Pages][ULRP].

[ULRP]: http://www.snopes.com/ "Urban Legends Reference Pages"