Humor

Things that make me laugh, or that I think will make others laugh.

Unfortunately Michael

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More fun with Google: Unfortunately Michael…

Unfortunately, Michael discovers Nellie’s hands-on approach is more than he bargained for.

A pity, as I’m not normally one to object to hands-on approaches from women.

Unfortunately, Michael is unable to accept any story ideas or manuscripts…

Ever. At all. They’re all totally unacceptable, every single one of them.

Unfortunately Michael deals with Kevin because he knows that his mom will NOT and that is NOT fair to Michael!!!

Heh. My little brother’s name is Kevin. At times when we were growing up, I probably thought that this was very true.

Unfortunately, Michael and Helena’s relationship just wasn’t as good.

Especially since I don’t remember ever having a relationship with a Helena. Couldn’t have been very good at all.

Unfortunately Michael’s umbrella was tied to the wall to stop it blowing away…

…so while the wall stayed nicely dry, I was drenched.

Unfortunately, Michael did not live to see the television series based on the pilot…

Yes, you heard it right here. This website is written by a zombie. THE UNDEAD!

Unfortunately Michael barely had time to show his skills in fighting…

I’ve got skills. Nunchuck skills.

Unfortunately, Michael became obssessed with getting Walt back and went back into the jungle.

And since that fateful day, the Jungle Cruise tour has been haunted with the sound of my voice crying out, “Walt! Mister Disney! Where are you? Come back to me!”

The music isn’t too bad but unfortunately Michael just makes it sound amateurish.

All those years of choir gone to waste. Such a shame!

But, unfortunately, Michael died before that happened.

See? UNDEAD! UNDEAD! UNDEAD! (with apologies to Bauhaus).

(via Eric Meyer)

iTunes “I Got You” by Vitamin C from the album Vitamin C (1999, 4:01).

The IT Crowd

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Cory’s right — The IT Crowd is great.

Creator Graham Linehan has produced a cast of characters who exemplify everything I loved about Father Ted: complete, over-the-top silliness, likable villainy, and great comic foolishness. The setup for the show is as silly as Father Ted’s: two IT geeks in the basement of a large, abusive corporation get a new boss, a woman who lied about her IT experience on her resume. What follows isn’t funny because of its intricate plotting, but because of its willingness to lard absurdity on absurdity, so that each episode gets progressively weirder as it progresses (for example, in episode two, there’s a screamingly funny running gag about a fire that’s broken out in the basement, which has to be hidden from the abusive CEO when he comes down to check on everyone’s morale).

British humor and geek jokes (lots of ’em, too, from Flying Spaghetti Monster posters to RTFM t-shirts to EFF ‘Fair Use Has a Posse‘ stickers…essentially the entire set dressing) combined. Bonus points for basing the theme song off of Gary Numan‘s ‘Are Friends Electric?“, too. Fire up your bittorrent clients and enjoy!

iTunes “Are Friends Electric?” by Information Society from the album Darkest Hour, The (1997, 4:27).

Trademark this, Aggies!

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Given that Texas A&M is up in arms over the Seahawks’ use of the ’12th Man’ phrase — which the Aggies have actually trademarked — I must agree with this idea that popped up in LiveJournal’s seattle group.

Someone needs to make t-shirts with the following (forgive the slightly clumsy formatting, I’m not familiar enough with MathML to actually make it work completely correctly, and apparently Safari doesn’t even display MathML correctly, so it wouldn’t matter anyway…):

√144th Man

Gored for Women!

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Another example of organizations that should check their web site addresses a little more carefully.

Today’s case in point: The American Heart Association’s Go Red for Women site, promoting heart disease awareness.

Unfortunately, ‘go red for women’, when written as a single phrase for the website — www.goredforwomen.org — looks a lot like ‘Gored for Women’.

This made me laugh.

(It’s still a good cause, though, and if I had any red in my wardrobe, I might wear it today.)

An’ that’s the truth!

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Just heard in a commentary on NPR (no idea who, I turned in partway through):

If those bible-thumpers really want a conundrum, how about this? If you take the word ‘presbyterians’ and rearrange the letters…it spells ‘Britney Spears’.

— Jim Hightower, at the October 2005 Annual West Colorado Congregation in Grand Junction, Colorado

Pimp my A95

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One of the (few) downsides to my little Powershot A95 is that as a point-and-shoot style camera, it’s a touch limited as to what it can do — a standard 3x optical zoom, a fixed lens so no other lenses can be attached, no threads for filters…little things like that. Very normal for a point-and-shoot, of course, but at times, a wee bit limiting.

However, one of the nice things about the A95 is that it is possible to attach some accessories to it. Canon’s Powershot cameras include a detachable ring around the lens assembly that, when removed, reveals a mount point. Canon also supplies a few accessories that can attach to the mount: an adaptor tube, which can then have either a wide-angle or a telephoto lens attached to it. However, as the A95 is a couple years old, these items aren’t incredibly easy to come by anymore.

Last week sometime I stumbled across LensMate, a local company that makes aftermarket adapters for the A95’s mount in both 52mm and 37mm sizes. I went ahead and ordered the 37mm adapter (since I knew my work carried some 37mm filters and accessories), and it arrived in the mail yesterday.

I took the camera in to work so that I could make sure the adapter worked with the filters I wanted to pick up. It did (no surprise, but nice to have it confirmed), so I got three Quantaray filters: a UV Haze, a Neutral Density, and a Circular Polarizer.

Since 37mm is a standard size for camcorder lenses, our store carries a few accessory lenses originally designed for camcorders. Since they’re the same thread size as my new adaptor, I started experimenting with those, and as it turns out, we’ve got a set of a .5x Wide Angle Lens and a 2x Telephoto Lens that fit perfectly, so I started playing with those to see how well they worked. Verdict: not bad, and I may want to pick the set up after my next paycheck.

Then things started getting silly.

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Seattle Nightlife

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…as summarized by Cor Tenebrarum on the SeaGoth message board:

  • The Mercury: OMG THE THIRD DRINK I HAD ON AN EMPTY STOMACH WAS DOSED!1!11!1!!111ONE
  • The Vogue: You can’t smoke.
  • Noc-Noc: You can’t smoke, and OMG THE FIFTH $1 SPECIAL I HAD ON AN EMPTY STOMACH WAS DOSED!11!111ONE
  • The Catwalk: Sorry, our drinks are too weak now, we have to shut down.
  • The Phoenix: Come to Pioneer Square! If you don’t get beat up and called a queer by sailors on weekend leave, you’ll have a great time!

iTunes “Bad Medicine” by Bon Jovi from the album New Jersey (1999, 5:16).

Disaffected!

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This is hilarious…and (at times) freakishly accurate.

Disaffected! – a videogame parody of the Kinko’s copy store, a source of frustration from its patrons. Disaffected! puts the player in the role employees forced to service customers under the particular incompetences common to a Kinko’s store.

[…] Disaffected! gives the player the chance to step into the demotivated position of real FedEx Kinkos employees. Feel the indifference of these purple-shirted malcontents first-hand, and consider the possible reasons behind their malaise — is it mere incompetence? Managerial affliction? Unseen but serious labor issues?

[…] Disaffected! is an arcade-style game with fast action and high replayability. The player controls one or more employees behind the counter at a typical copy store. As each level starts, customers enter the store through the front doors and line up behind the cashiers at the counters. The player must try to find and deliver each customer’s order. Obstacles include confused employees, employees who refuse to work, employees who move orders around indiscriminately so the player cannot find them.

After the number of years I spent working at Kinko’s (now FedEx Kinko’s)…heh. Count me as very, very amused. And very glad I’m not working there anymore.

(via Boing Boing)