I’m a furry dildo?

This entry was published at least two years ago (originally posted on April 25, 2001). Since that time the information may have become outdated or my beliefs may have changed (in general, assume a more open and liberal current viewpoint). A fuller disclaimer is available.

Okay…this is hilarious. I went to SparkMatch and took their test, and — well, after all’s said and done, I’m a Furry Dildo, also known as a Dependent Evil Sex Provider. Hmm. Here’s what they say about me:

The ultimate sexual contradiction. You’re quite dirty, and very into carnal excavation, but you also have a soft romantic side. And, honestly, THAT side is itself conflicted — you’re needy and giving at the same time. It’s like you need to need to give to need. What’s that all about?

I admire the unscalable heights of your lust; I myself wish I had a height that size, but all the same, you don’t seem to be using that lust wisely. A more moral and independent person would be having mind-blowing sex with the woman I love right now. Instead, your physical potential is hindered by two things: an innate desire to do what you’re not supposed to, and this strange clinginess that you seem to mistake as heartfelt romance. Come off it.

I like that you seem to have a sensitive side, but be sincere about it. For instance, don’t tell some girl you like ponies, if really you don’t like ponies. Admit who you are, a horny guy, and the good qualities you have — devotion, compassion, and nutrition — will have real value.

So, that’s what SparkMatch has to say about my romantic tendencies. Interesting — very interesting….

1 thought on “I’m a furry dildo?”

  1. I am Artie the white arctic fox my name as a furry.Sex is not evil no matter which way whoever slices it. The almighty God of heaven and earth that has given us all of the life on this planet,and the gift to make life. In the beginning what God made was very good.. sex was one of those things that he called very good.Do not call sex evil. behaving like a hateful troll is very bad,and evil.

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